We are coming at you with a podcast from an abattoir in Prague on the eve of the ETC.
We are coming at you with a podcast from an abattoir in Prague on the eve of the ETC.
“We owe the workers nothing, we have granted them much honour in allowing them to serve us.” -Tech-Adept Thurmann to unknown PDF commander
The world of Ketrin is the scene of a bitter conflict between the forces of the Mechanicus and the remnants of a long forgotten Waaagh. Long thought to be contained, after centuries of minor clashes and skirmishing, Ork attacks have flared to dangerous levels. Across the planet, warbands are forming and their predations threaten the holy work of uncovering the planet’s history and unearthing ancient knowledge. The civilian population and PDF have been left to their own devices as the Mechanicus focus on the defence of their own outposts.
But the true strength of Grug’s warhorde lies in his veteran Blitz Brigades, three formations of Gunwagonz led by a pair of Oddboyz each. The orkish psykers add a deadly punch to the massed firepower of ramshackle tanks. These are the forces that have swept down through the barrier lines into the open plains. Three tribes can be seen, the red of the Speed Freaks, the yellow of the Bad Moons and the blue of the Deathskulls.
Facing this incursion is a lumbering defence force. The heart of the Mechanicus army is an ancient and deadly Ordinatus Majoris (Armageddon class), toting a spaceship killing Nova cannon. This godmachine, Blessing of the Omni-messiah is a revered icon of the faith and deploys alongside its dedicated escorts. Its Colossus assault robots keep the enemy at bay while a squadron of Avengers guard it from aerial threats.
On the left, the Macharius tanks elevate their main guns and rake the Speed Freaks with deadly long range fire, destroying three Gunwagons and rocking the formation. In the face of a new foe, the Orks stop their squabbling and begin revving their engines.
Heavy axes bite into oily flesh and the fire dies away. The defending Sagitarii are wiped out, their vehicles overrun by stikk-bombers and the entire garrison is destroyed.
Hoping to draw away a larger Ork formation, the Crusader scouts abandon the fighting in the woods and make a quick march for the Ork ammo cache in the city outskirts.
The Stompas, denied the joy of treading small squishy infantry underfoot, turn away from the archaeological station and begin a march towards the Ordinatus Majoris. Their frustration effects their gunnery and their projectiles sail harmlessly past the Ordinatus or vanish against its shields.
Fresh from the massacre of the Crusader robots, the Speed Freeks Brigade reappears behind the Skitarii. They now find themselves surrounded by the Orks, in turn. One Chimedon is raked, takes a hit to its generator and burst into flames.
The Ork Gargant, switches its attention to the beleaguered Skitarii, claims another Chimedon through sheer weight of fire.
In the West, the surviving Skitarii rout towards their jump-off point. The formation pushing into the city now risks isolation as larger Ork formations threaten to cut them off from the retreating army.The only consolation is that much of the force could escape as the Orks are diverted by the joys of looting a Mechanicus site. Already, flares can be seen in the distance as they indulge themselves in “experments” with captured tech.
The Mechanicus deem further defensive efforts to be impractical and withdraw their remaining assets from the region. Their forces have suffered badly in open terrain as greater Ork mobility allow them to isolate and surround their formations. However the Blessing of the Omni-messiah continues to evade destruction and has been responsible for more than half of the losses suffered by the Orks, adding six Stompa kills to its Gargant kill and adding to its impressive tally of smaller kills.
Welcome to Episode 18 of the Warheads podcast.
We report briefly on the last two Irish Flames of War tournaments and the eternal binary struggle between Good and Evil. The meat of the episode focuses on the European Team Championship including imbittered self-justification from our list-designers, vicious national stereotyping of our opponents, dire predictions about slow play and some list analysis. For those interested, all lists can be found here: http://sirehermann.wix.com/barbus-in-game
We go completely off-topic at the end, discussing the joys of Prague, the importance of goodwill towards all and defenestration.
I release this podcast under duress as my co-hosts relentlessly badger me about the importance of timely releases. Shame on them, they lack all understanding of the artistic process. We discuss our experiences in Derry/Londonderry/Doire, chat about our upcoming tournament (it’s tomorrow) and dole out patronising advice to our neighbours. My warnings of a great evil rising in the North go unheeded.
Welcome to Episode 16,
We discuss the spate of Irish tournaments that have appeared since the last podcast, tease out the exact degree of villiany required to run an EW Strelk list, Baz reveals his Luddite tendencies and we deal with a discourteous listener. This is all punctuated by ranting and drinking.
Welcome to Episode 15.
After Brian talks us out of sending Battlefront a cease and desist, we chat about the Northern Team Tournament and commend the winners on their affable natures, undeniable skills and stunning physical attractiveness (except Baz, the troll-beast). We rue the effect of the “chain of gouging” on tournaments in the Republic. We reflect on our epic game of Epic and the importance of a robust ruleset is highlighted by our vicious slander section.
And for the eagle-eared, I think you can calculate the number of girls in short skirts that pass by during recording by the amount of inexplicable but wholly respectful pauses.
As ever, enjoy.
Tony and I met for a great game of Bolt Action last week. On the way in to the LFGS I found €10 on the street. It was going to be that kind of game.
We decided to play the BA.net mission Nuts! and bring 1250 point lists (more on this later).
Reg. Junior Lt. and friend
Reg. Siberian squad (10 rifles)
Vet. scout (7)
Reg. Junior Lt.
Reg. tank riders (10)
Vet. Assault Engineers with flame-thrower (8)
Commissar and friend
Reg. medic and friend
Reg. truck with MMG
Reg. Katyusha (I wanted to bring my Katyusha and a tank so I had to take two platoons)
Free Rifle squad
14 dice, 1250 points
Reg. 1st Lt.
Free artillery observer
Reg. medium mortar
Reg. Blacker Bombard
Reg. light artillery (25pdr)
Reg. 3-ton truck
Reg. AEC Mk. III
Reg. Churchill AVRE
13 dice, 1250 points
Set-up, sizing up
The mission is straightforward and tactical. There is an objective in the center of the table and then one objective in each table quarter. My plan was to use the scouts to hold or contest the center objective and focus the remainder of my forces and my outflanking death-star assault engineers on one side of the table. I assumed Tony would be fairly aggressive and want to get those commandos into assault as soon as possible.
I was the “defender” and choose the right side of the table. I committed the truck, medic, solo lt., and assault engineers to outflank on my left (the bottom of the table above). My T34/85 with tank riders and Katyusha were in reserve. Tony put a platoon of commandos in his truck to outflank. He started with two units of commandos on the table and the fourth one in reserve. Also on the table was his sniper, Churchill, Lt. and 25pdr. His AEC and blacker were also in reserve.
I got lucky, not for the last time that night, with the roll-off to place forward-deploying teams. My scouts occupied the ruin close to the center objective. Tony placed his sniper in the building on his half of the table and my sniper got a nice window view as well.
Tony’s Blacker Bombard deserves special mention. What’s that you say? You didn’t know Warlord made the kit? They don’t. Tony’s is a scratch-build:
I got the first dice out of the bag and my sniper instantly killed his opposite number. My scouts hunkered down while my green squad, commissar, and one of my officers moved up to the large building on my left. The squad went into the bottom floor while the HQ units hid out of sight behind it. My BA-64 fired blindly at Tony’s Blacker and killed a crew member. Tony’s infantry occupied the building on his left, but his shooting was ineffectual.
Tony had a few units left and was contesting the objective on his left, and holding the objective on my left with his outflankers. My T34 lined up his AEC and squeezed off a a shot. Tony need the AEC to do some damage this turn so he couldn’t recce away. Of course I hit and the AEC exploded.
We’ve had a fairly random few weeks of gaming. We discuss our doubts about our most effective EW lists and the perils of small gaming groups, another brief chat about the Northern team tournament, we briefly chate about other games (Hail Caesar, LotR and Leviathans) and discuss a piece of fan mail that isn’t a vicious, unjustifiable, personal attack.
Welcome to Episode 13.
In this offering, we discuss our ongoing ETC list testing, our participation game in the local university, Nachjager and our gaming ambitions for the year. Time is also taken to wind Pádhraic up and hopefully, clubmates and fellow FoWers on the island will be spurred to new heights of effort by the blind arrogance of Team 112. No Floody win in 2015, comrades.
Welcome to Episode 12, this one is probably aimed firmly at an Irish audience but if you feel your painting is improved by the silky tones of nerds arguing, you might as well have a listen.
00:00:00- We introduce ourselves and run through the order of business.
00:04:10- The attendees re-cap their first day at Nordicon and make fair and provable accusations against all their opponents.
00:38:50- We take a brief interlude to condemn Northern Ireland’s barbaric licensing laws. They also tie up the swings on Sundays, you know.
00:43:05- The second day of the tournament is discussed and handbags are deployed by some of the hosts.
01:03:13- The perils of optional rules are highlighted by our brief look at the Nachjager spoiler.
01:05:05- We receive (fan?)mail and are pleased to dispense our wisdom.