Joel Rosen’s landmark study The Erosion of the American Sporting Ethos analyzes the demise of the competitive spirit in sports and the loosening of standards. Nothing is more illustrative of this decline than the outcry that arose in 1997 when University of Indiana coach Bobby Knight used the pedagogical method known as “choking” to help a player regain his motivation and focus.
Coach Knight was excoriated by the media. But the flaccidity is not limited to the U.S. For evidence of the global decline of the sporting ethos one need only look at soccer.
We find this decline of the sporting ethos to be unnerving. When did it start? Why is it happening? Are we at risk? Why is Cristiano Ronaldo such a chump? As the Flames of War team prepares for the ETC in Poland these questions, along with a few others relating to the availability of small denomination bills of zloty, weigh heavily on our minds. Ulimately we must trust that our core values will provide a modicum of protection from this post-modern disorientation, confusion, and anomie. With this in mind, and in consultation with Tony Robbins, the Flames of War team has articulated a specific ethos. We present it below with an exegetical note for each core value.
1. Provide succor to comrades, mendicants and feckless gobshites.
Our team dedicates one weekend a month to community service for the installation of anti-aircraft weapons. Because in V3 air power is scary.
2. Strength is wisdom and wisdom is strength.
Every member of our team knows the answer to the Riddle of Steel.
3. Danger is our ale and we do not water it down.
If you give any member of our team two Guinness and twenty minutes he can make you one budweiser.
4. Honor your kin, honor your comrades, honor the ground you tread, honor your foes, though they be unworthy.
We have seen ISU-152s fail fire power checks. We have seen conscripts route veterans. All these moments will be lost in time, like PZ IIIs in mud.
5. There will be much woe, and thine heart must endure and thine hands must be strong.
Our hearts are filled with love, but we will nuke you in order to protect our precious bodily fluids.
6. Just as gold is melted in the midst of the furnace, so shall our foes be melted in the midst of Team Ireland and they shall know that we have poured our justice upon them.
You’re going to look pretty funny tryin’ to eat corn on the cob with no fuckin’ teeth.
St. Augustine claimed that self-doubt is the path to salvation. We disagree. Our ethos imbues us with confidence and ensures a lack of reflectivity on our part that can only result in victory. Onward to Poland. Onward to victory.